You Not Malay?

Once upon a time in 1986 at Leboh Ampang bus stand (just outside those banana leaf makan joints). In school uniform (not the thin revealing one that got everyone excited) waiting for Len Seng 165 (equipped with power stereo system that belted out great Tamil disco hits) a thug approached. "Where are you from", that was the customary pick me up opener to test if one belongs to any gang. Should I say Jinjang 18 Chai and get walloped? Stunned for a while. Before he demanded for my wallet, something happened. "Apa kamu nak" a voice came out from my mouth, as I recovered my composure. Now, it was his turn to panic! "eh! lu bukan Cina ka? soli huh" and walked away and probably looked for his next victim. It happened so fast, have no time to pee in the pants. Was glad to salvage my bus fares. From that day onwards, be yet wiser, started to use this 'advantage' to 'cari makan'.

Bangsa Malaysia - that's my standard reply countless times either via phone or face to face when customer service officers looked puzzled and did not how to label me! There is no statistic to prove it, but based on personal experiences, the services were much better if I speak their lingo! So take your language lessons seriously as it does wonder. Then what to do with the typical Chinese features - sepet, flat nose etc? Wear a mask, kot!