Festive Cheers

Some market humours to usher the festive season. Courtesy of Jay Leno & others.

1. US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing. It is called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW

4. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.

5. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it is a scam. Don't fall for it.

6. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar.

7. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures.

8. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.

9. YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $250 per share.

10. WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you are the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $250 per share.

Merry Xmas & Happy New Year.